I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
