The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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