We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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