Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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