I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
