so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
