he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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