Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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