i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
