is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize