I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I didn't notice because vodka
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
