You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize