It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize