Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
