I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I have fence marks all over my body
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize