I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
