I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
