my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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