Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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