she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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