i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
