ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Come share oat with me in your robe
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
