Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
