They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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