are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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