I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
