we made out on top of his cat.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
