If i come over, it means nothing
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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