I swear she didn't look like that last week.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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