you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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