these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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