so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
