I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
