My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
sex in a hospital.. check
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
