HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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