I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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