oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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