i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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