4 words: hood of his car
you traded sex for a burrito?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
