I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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