Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
