careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
