The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
