using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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