he wants to bone in the snuggie
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize