idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
