plz talk dirty to me
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
