That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
