Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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