Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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