This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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