Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
