His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
