it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
