So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize