Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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