I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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