what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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