I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
im six kinds of drunk right now
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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