i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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