JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just had sex on a roof
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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