And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We are all done wearing pants today
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
