I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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