i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm like, not good at living.
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