One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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