today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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