I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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