And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize